{"id":50907,"date":"2023-10-23T13:26:19","date_gmt":"2023-10-23T17:26:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.cruisingworld.com\/?p=50907"},"modified":"2023-10-23T13:26:20","modified_gmt":"2023-10-23T17:26:20","slug":"on-watch-kids-education","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cruisingworld.com\/people\/on-watch-kids-education\/","title":{"rendered":"On Watch: Fatty Goodlander Tricks the Kids Into an Education"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\n\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\"Fatty <\/div>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\n
\n The key with kids, boats and learning is to identify those teachable moments when students don\u2019t realize they\u2019re students. Time consuming? Frustrating at times? Of course! Being a good parent isn\u2019t easy.<\/span>\n Fatty Goodlander<\/span>\n\n\t\t\t\t <\/figcaption>\n <\/section>\n\t\t\n\n\n\n\n

Perspective is everything. To Puritans, being publicly dunked was a humiliating punishment. To our grandkids, however, \u201cthe dunking chair\u201d provides endless fun.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even the most modest \u00adcruising sailboats probably have all the bits needed to create a dunking chair: a bosun\u2019s chair, a spinnaker pole and a couple of halyards. A kid swims into the chair, is slowly hoisted \u201csuper high\u201d (which might translate to 6 inches for a youngster) amid much fanfare, and is then abruptly released as the crew cheers. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAgain! Again!\u201d is the immediate, universal response of the dunkees. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s the key: Your job as skipper and organizer is to make sure that everyone is safe without appearing to do so. Rule No. 2 is equally simple: Don\u2019t teach. Allow them to learn. There should be no helicopter parents afloat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fun is fun\u2014and fun is best done for its own sake. Kids instinctively know this, while adults lose a bit of this sage wisdom each day. So, don\u2019t turn this into a lesson. Keep the focus on the goofy fun. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the other hand, do \u00addisplay your lustful enthusiasm at every opportunity. What could be better than being dunked in the water? Not much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kids love to be watched, to receive attention. The audio track is important. \u201cLook at that splash!\u201d and \u201cYou were soooo high!\u201d and \u201cDid you see how Tessa swam to the surface, Grandma? Was that cool, or what?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can\u2019t lay it on too thick. Life will soon temper their \u00adembryonic egos. Right now, the objective is to nurture and encourage\u2014to make them preen with their newfound marine skills. (The most dangerous moment is when, underwater, they swim out of the chair. Beware. And be ready to hoist if a foot gets caught.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, our daughter Roma\u2019s marine skills didn\u2019t start with the dunking chair. When she was 2 months old, we started holding Roma Orion while in the water, to acclimate her to being wet, while we were wet and having family fun. We\u2019d hand her back and forth. One of us would stay with her while the other parent swam and Roma watched. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

No pressure, and we never scared her or stressed her out. This wasn\u2019t about her passing a test; this was about the family having fun together. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When she was 4 months old, we\u2019d take her to a pool almost daily. My wife, Carolyn, and I would stand a couple of feet apart. We\u2019d grin, slowly rise up, take deep breaths, and then the person holding the baby would strongly blow into her face. Instinctively, babies hold their breath when blown upon. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, we\u2019d all three \u00adsubmerge. At first, for only a moment, but, within a couple of days, for increasing durations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Roma loved it. She\u2019d look around and see her other parent underwater. She\u2019d see bubbles. Soon, she\u2019d hold her breath whenever we\u2019d take her underwater. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019d constantly hand her back and forth on the surface, and play games while doing so. Next, we\u2019d submerge together, and I\u2019d hand her to Carolyn underwater. Roma thought this was just about the coolest, most exciting thing in the universe. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gradually, we\u2019d get farther and farther apart, and Roma would help by wiggling her arms and legs. Progress. (Kids\u2019 heads are extremely heavy in comparison to their bodies, so holding their head out of the water is far more difficult than swimming underwater.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Roma learned to swim with a minimum of instruction. We\u2019d later have her hold onto the side of the pool or onto our dinghy, and then swim to us while we inched away. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ever since, Roma has loved the water. And not only did she learn to swim well before her first birthday, but she\u2019s since taught dozens (hundreds?) of kids to swim. She also earned her PADI scuba-diving card and is a PADI-certified rescue diver. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

First fun, then accomplishment, followed by high interest, and eventually success on all fronts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Roma Orion, her 12-year-old daughter, Sok\u00f9 Orion, and Tessa Marie all come to sail, cruise, and swim with Grandpa and Grandma nearly every weekend now. Goodlanders easily bond over water, and we firmly believe that the family who swims together, stays together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Each of our \u201cbilge rats,\u201d of course, vividly recalls the first time they were able to swim unassisted around the boat. By long tradition, I am forced to immediately jump into the water with all my clothes on. What could be more fun than having the befuddled skipper swim to the surface, sadly holding his (fake, prepared in advance) wallet over his head?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Did Roma or our grandkids balk at any point? Sure. Roma would happily dive over the side in nearly 30,000 feet of water (off the Puerto Rican trench) but get nervous at a beach if she discovered that she was in water over her head. Fine. We allowed her to work through it with our support and encouragement. It didn\u2019t become a big deal, and, within the month, her fear was gone. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ditto Sok\u00f9\u2019s sudden fear of live fish swimming up to her. And Tessa\u2019s amazement at seeing a huge shark glide by in the crystal-clear Caribbean Sea. Eventually, all of these \u201cgreatest fears to be faced\u201d turned into ho-hum, everyday fun experiences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Swimming is great exercise, sure, but it is also highly empowering. Some rock-\u00adhuggers are too timid to get to this point. Those who do, however, profit for a lifetime. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

More About the Dunking Chair<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Now, since I\u2019m an adult and I\u2019m writing for, mostly, adults, let\u2019s take a moment to take a deeper dive into the dunking chair. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

First off, the connection \u00adbetween the bosun chair and halyard should be soft. A simple bowline will do. Why? So that no heavy or sharp hardware, such as a snap shackle, hits the kid during the drop. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, the end of the spin pole should be held aloft independently of the hoisting halyard. That way, when the kid drops, the pole remains in place. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Initially, it is good to have an adult in the water. While I operate the halyard myself for the first few hoists, I then complain that I\u2019m too old and enlist one of the older kids to help. This allows me to talk to them about rope burns, how to operate a halyard winch, how to cast off a halyard safely, how to avoid having your head cracked by the winch handle, and the difference between casting off and easing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Obviously, no one should be standing in a loop on the deck; the deck crew must be all clear before the halyard is let go. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a few words: This is about teamwork and common sense. A dozen lessons in \u00adseamanship (and life) are revealed, but without anyone being a boring adult. Kids are smart. They don\u2019t like being talked down to any more than adults do. Yet, they know little. It is the adult\u2019s job to be one step ahead, always. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lessons for Life<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Having been raised aboard the schooner Elizabeth<\/em>, and having raised our daughter aboard the ketch Carlotta<\/em> and the sloop Wild Card<\/em>, we are now coastal cruising with our grandkids aboard the 43-foot center-cockpit ketch Ganesh<\/em> in Southeast Asia. I can tell you, dear reader, that the key to kids, boats and learning is not to teach them when you feel like it, but rather to teach them during a teachable moment when they feel like it. The best teachers have students who don\u2019t even realize they\u2019re students. From their perspectives, they\u2019re just fellow adventurers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Is this difficult? Time consuming? Frustrating at times? Of course. Being a good parent isn\u2019t easy, and nobody \u00adpromised you that it would be. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When Roma was born, I didn\u2019t particularly wish that she did well academically, only that she be an avid reader. We\u2019d be sitting at anchor with Roma playing with her (homemade) dolls on the cabin sole while my wife and I read on opposite sides of our vessel. When Roma would become bored, she\u2019d bother me to see if she could stir me into action and capture my attention. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDon\u2019t bother me,\u201d I\u2019d say as I returned to my Wilbur Smith novel. \u201cI\u2019m wrestling with a lion in Africa.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, you\u2019re not, silly Daddy-O,\u201d Roma would say, \u201cYou\u2019re reading a book.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow bad is it?\u201d I would ask. \u201cMy shoulder wound, I mean. That lion bit me pretty badly. Am I losing much blood?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDon\u2019t be crazy, Daddy-O!\u201d she\u2019d say with a giggle. \u201cThere\u2019s no lions on St. John.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And for the remainder of the day, we\u2019d talk about Africa, medical first aid and lions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCould you check for me?\u201d I\u2019d ask Roma, \u201cJust to be sure?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, Dad thinks there\u2019s a lion in the head,\u201d she\u2019d say with a giggle. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of our major cruising expenses from 1985 to 1998 was children\u2019s books: first, the Ladybird series of books; then the Baby Sitters series; then Pippi Longstocking<\/em>; The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe<\/em>; anything by Judy Blume\u2014right up to The Clan of the Cave Bear<\/em> as Roma headed off to Brandeis University on a full merit scholarship. (With her master\u2019s degree, she currently works with Singapore Management University.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s the truth of it: If you raise a child aboard, he or she is seldom more than a dozen feet from you or your spouse. Everyone hears one another other. Everyone smells one another other. Everyone experiences everyone\u2019s moods, and the moods of mother ocean as well. The result, if you work at it, is a closeness and interdependence that landlubbers can\u2019t even comprehend. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My father was an orphan, deserted by his mother and taken away from his alcoholic father. His plan to buy our schooner wasn\u2019t merely to sail to Tahiti; it was to raise his family aboard as we wandered the world. I guess it worked. I\u2019m still wandering, if at a more sedate pace than when I first purchased my double-\u00adended sloop Corina<\/em> at 15 years of age. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And, I will say that the best thing in the world isn\u2019t to be raised aboard; it is instead to be a second-generation liveaboard who is raising his child aboard. Ditto, our grandkids. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fatty Goodlander has lived aboard and ocean-sailed for 63 years, 53 of them with his wife, Carolyn. They still take turns hoisting each other in the dunking chair.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Kids can learn a whole lot while they think they’re just having fun on a boat.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":50908,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"BS_author_type":"BS_author_is_guest","BS_guest_author_name":"Cap'n Fatty Goodlander","BS_guest_author_url":"","hydra_display_date":"","hydra_display_updated":false,"_yoast_wpseo_primary_category":"","_yoast_wpseo_metadesc":"","_yoast_wpseo_title":"","_yoast_wpseo_meta-robots-noindex":"","arc_story_id":"","arc_website_url":"","custom_permalink":"","arc_subtype":"","arc_exclude_from_feeds":false,"sponsored":false,"sponsored_label":"Sponsored Content","sponsored_display_label":false,"sponsored_image":false,"post_right_rail":true,"post_right_rail_ad_1":true,"post_right_rail_ad_2":true,"post_right_rail_ad_3":false,"post_right_rail_ad_4":false,"post_right_rail_recirc":true,"fixed_anchor_ad":true,"post_top_ad":true,"post_off_ramp":true,"post_taboola":false,"labels":true,"apple_news_api_created_at":"","apple_news_api_id":"","apple_news_api_modified_at":"","apple_news_api_revision":"","apple_news_api_share_url":"","apple_news_coverimage":0,"apple_news_coverimage_caption":"","apple_news_is_hidden":false,"apple_news_is_paid":false,"apple_news_is_preview":false,"apple_news_is_sponsored":false,"apple_news_maturity_rating":"","apple_news_metadata":"\"\"","apple_news_pullquote":"","apple_news_pullquote_position":"","apple_news_slug":"","apple_news_sections":"\"\"","apple_news_suppress_video_url":false,"apple_news_use_image_component":false,"footnotes":"","ad_settings_ads_on_this_page":true,"ad_settings_automatic_ad_injection_into_the_content":true,"ad_targeting":"","sponsored_url":"","social_share":true},"categories":[165],"tags":[202,197,1961],"acf":[],"apple_news_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cruisingworld.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50907"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cruisingworld.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cruisingworld.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cruisingworld.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cruisingworld.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=50907"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.cruisingworld.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50907\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cruisingworld.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/50908"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cruisingworld.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=50907"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cruisingworld.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=50907"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cruisingworld.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=50907"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}